Surrender

So here's the deal: Something huge happened this past weekend. I'm officially learning the meaning of surrender. I went out with a friend Friday night and we sat outside a really cute bar for about an hour or so. She ordered Rum and Sprite, and I ordered a scoop of Chocolate Chip Ice Cream.lol. Anyway, she asked if I wanted to taste it, and I had two sips. It was pretty good, actually, but I didn't have any more than those two sips. We got talking about different things, and she said something that just totally hit me like a ton of bricks: I hope you get drunk on your 21st birthday. I was like, "I hope I don't get drunk on my 21st birthday!" She also asked if I wanted to finish off the glass because there was only a little bit left; I declined. Since I have been in Greece, I have tasted many different types of wine (some decent, some horrible), Ouzo w/water, Raki, and Rum and Sprite. Let me tell you: I don't see anything wrong with trying new things; it's when you it that it becomes a problem. I now know what those things taste like and don't see what the big deal about them is. However, I went back to my apartment that night with a sinking feeling in my stomach that just didn't feel right. This weekend, I witnessed first-hand my 13 year old cousin get called fat by her mother and her father yell at her because she asked a question about her homework. My cousin was crushed. I even got some of her clothes because they didn't fit her anymore. My cousin has beautiful clothing; her parents own a few boutiques in Athens, most of it from Italy and Paris. She has travelled to multiple countries for business trips with her parents and attends a prestigious school in Athens. However, she is not happy and it was obvious when I was with her. Her parents are rarely around, and she has no siblings. This weekend was an eye-opener for me on how I want-and desire!- to help others. I am feeling that God is calling me toward the service field more than ever. I am getting so excited for Urbana to learn more about the mission field. I went to my cousin's this weekend excited, but not exactly thrilled, to be spending my time with a 13 year old. However, it changed everything for me. I am learning the meaning of surrender, giving things up to help others, leaving things in the Lord's hands. I miss home so much; My countdown is 41 days! And Conrad, oh boy. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much; this distance gets harder by the day. Yet I trust him and I know he trusts me and we both trust the Lord that if this is right, it will work, despite the distance and obstacles we are being thrown. This post may seem random and jumbled, but for those who truly know me, random is how I operate. Anyway, I've attached a song by Meredith Andrews called Show Me What It Means. It's hard to hear parts of the song because of the way it was recorded live, but try and listen to the lyrics. God isn't looking for us to just say we have a religion; He wants a relationship including time spent with Him, serving and helping others, and devotion to following Him. Don't couples make time out of their schedules to be with one another? Don't parents desire to help their children? That's how it should be with God: a complete and utter passion for Him with no bounds. Make time for him and trust Him. He will provide even when it's hard to believe it. Have no fear, for I am God! Once you give your life to God, there's no turning back. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmyZGoavGF4

When it comes to accomplishing things for God, you will find that high inspirations, enthusiastic feelings, careful planning, and being able to express yourself well are not worth very much. The important thing is absolute surrender to God. -Fe'nelon